Why is it that when babies are tired they don’t just close their eyes and go to sleep? Why do they decide that the best way to voice their exhaustion is to scream and cry? When Charlotte does this (usually when she needs a nap and not at night, thank GOD) I just stare at her in utter confusion. Could you imagine if adults acted this way? Imagine we all went to work on Monday and then around the 3 PM crash of exhaustion we all just started to scream and cry and wave our fists around. Riding the subway home after a hard day? Just stand there and scream. It would make for an interesting commute at least.
Also, why do I need to deal with things like clogged milk ducts? Why do I need to get clogged to begin with? I am not a toilet. I am not a sink. Why does this need to happen at all? Yesterday I had my first plugged up duct. It was a tender lump in my boob and every time the piranha that is my daughter ate from that side it hurt like a bitch. I had to do warm compresses before I fed her, and then I had to feed her on all fours. Like A DOG. I hovered over my child to feed her from my painful, clogged boob and gravity could work its magic and help release the milk. I literally never thought I would do anything like this in my lifetime, but yet there I was straddling a two month old praying for the clog to dissolve. I’m sorry I even put this image out into the universe. I’m all better now! Clog free boobs over here!
I hope you all had a great Mother’s Day and got what you deserved/gave what your mom deserved. Although we all deserve a castle and millions of dollars, so I think Kate Middleton is the only one who actually got what she wanted for Mother’s Day. After she stole my baby’s name, that is.