2 AM is the Perfect Time to Learn New Things

Charlotte woke up at 1:55 AM last night because she likes to keep me on my toes.  She’s basically saying to me that yes, she can sleep through the night, but I shall choose not to just to make sure you aren’t as rested as you should be.  Since it was before 4 AM I nursed her in the rocking chair in her room and then put her back in the crib hoping she’d go back to sleep.  I should have known when she ate with her eyes wide open the entire time that the child would not go back to sleep.  I went back into bed as she protested in her crib, and then Eric came in telling me her foot was stuck in the bar, so I told him to just bring her to bed because I’m too tired to deal with this shit, as usual. He came to bed after he brought her in, and that’s when Charlotte decided to stay up until after 3 and do the following things:

  1. Nurse on and off violently.
  2. Say “dadadadada” over and over.
  3. Smack me in the face, the boobs, the arms.
  4. Punch herself in the head numerous times.
  5. Say “mamamama” FOR THE FIRST TIME.
  6. Grab her feet and roll back and forth like a turtle stuck on its back.
  7. Hit her bottom lip and make the “buhbuhbuh” sound.
  8. Combine “mamamadadada” as she hits herself in the head.
  9. Send her father packing to the couch.
  10. Pretend to fall asleep for 5 minutes and then wake up and hit me.

It was fun.  If fun translates to feeling like there is sandpaper in your eyes and realizing sleep before work is not going to happen soon.  I mean on the one hand I’m glad she said mama, even though I’m 99% sure it was not because she realizes I’m mama, but because she just likes the sound that comes out of her mouth, but on the other hand GO THE F*CK TO SLEEP.  And also should I be concerned that she likes to punch herself in the head?  I mean she was just going to town with that.  She loves learning new things at 2 AM.

Send coffee.

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