My Daughter is Trying to Kill Me

I’m still nursing my child at 13 and a half months.  I really never thought I’d make it this far or even want to keep going, but the truth of the matter is it’s still good for both of us and I’ll stop whenever the hell I’m good and ready (so there).  But something interesting is happening now whenever I nurse her, whether it’s a random cuddle session in the middle of the afternoon or her 3:30 am feed that she refuses to give up (and that I’m too much of a pansy to try to cut out).  She’s always like to touch my face whenever she’s eating, but now the child is getting a bit bolder in her nursing habits.

She holds my nose closed.  Hard.  And she sticks her fingers in my mouth at the same time, so breathing becomes really difficult.  She smiles as she does it too, like she knows she is slowly suffocating me.  If I push her hand away she just comes back with a vengeance and holds it closed even harder.  Sometimes I think she’s really trying to kill me.

But then she’ll finish eating and smack her lips and go AHHH like she just had the best meal in America and I immediately forget that moments before she was trying to asphyxiate me.  Aren’t kids the best?

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