Sugar & Spice and Everything Nice?

I have always wanted to have a little girl.  I was beyond ecstatic when my dream came true and Charlie girl came into my life.  While I was pregnant with her, I oohed and ahhed over all the adorable frilly clothes, headbands and sparkly shoes people bought for her.  I got so many princess things, so many girly toys, imagined tea parties and Disney Princess sing a longs.  And funnily enough, now, how does that song go?  You can’t always get what you want?  Charlotte is the furthest thing from a gentle dainty princess.  The older she gets, the more her true personality shines through, and the more I notice my tea party days are numbered before they even began.  A few examples are listed below.

I have two boxes full of headbands, bows, clips & the like.  Charlotte was born with the most beautiful head of hair I’ve ever seen.  In the beginning she let us put some headbands on her, and then for a while there the little bow clips made their appearance.  But now?  When was the last time you saw a picture in which Charlotte is wearing a headband?  There is one on my Facebook from months ago where she is SCREAMING as she attempts to rip it off her head.  Her hair is long enough for a ponytail now, but I imagine it would be easier to give a wild lion on an African Safari a fishtail braid with a crown of flowers than it is to keep her still enough to tie her hair back.  The kid looks like she has a mullet every day because it’s still at an awkward length, and she doesn’t let me do anything to rectify that situation.  Sometimes I look at the bows and headbands and sparkly clips inside those boxes in her room and imagine the days when she would just lay there and let me do whatever I wanted.

Tulle, tutus, dresses.  Do you know how many tutus we got when Charlotte was found out to be a girl?  An entire drawer full.  Do you know how many tutus she allowed me to put on her without ripping them violently and screaming?  Approximately ZERO.  If an item of clothing has tulle on it, like the beautiful Disney Princess dresses I was dying for her to wear, she won’t even let me put it up next to her body to see what it would look like.  Just a few weeks ago at the Disney Store I tried to put a Sofia the First dress up near her and she flipped the F out.  She just wants to be naked.  LET ME DRESS YOU HOW I IMAGINED FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

Disney Characters.  Do you want to know who Charlotte’s favorite Disney Junior character is?  Come on and take a little guess.  Is it Minnie, the mouse who embodies all girly things with her Bowtique, pink dresses and general love for dainty accessories?  Hell no it isn’t.  Is it Mickey?  The head mouse in charge?  It is Doc McStuffins, the toy doctor extraordinaire?  How about Goldie and Bear?  No.  It isn’t any of these characters.  The only damn character she loves is FRIGGIN’ PETE.  DO YOU KNOW WHO PETE IS?  Here, let me show you.

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THAT’S HER FAVORITE CHARACTER!!!  When he comes on the screen she screams with glee going PEEEE PEEEEE and when he isn’t on the screen she cries!  When she sees pictures of him she gets SO excited and when she opens her Mickey Mouse Clubhouse book she only turns to the pages with him.  She cries when Minnie’s Bowtique comes on.  Actually CRIES and says NO NO NO. PEEEEE.  So now I’ve got to find clips that specifically have Pete in them.  Do you know what Pete’s description is on the Disney Wiki page?  Let me enlighten you.  “Pete is a villainous anthropomorphic cat who is mostly known as Mickey’s arch-nemesis.”  One of his quotes is: “I was born to cheat and lie! I’m a mean rotten guy!”  So yea.  That’s my Charlie girl’s favorite character.  Fitting, for someone who finds joy in beating me with a wooden spoon.

Let me just finish this post by saying that I wouldn’t change my daughter for all the sparkly dresses in the world.  I love who she is, I just think it’s funny that all of the ideas I had in my head have yet to come to fruition.  Maybe one day we’ll have a tea party, or maybe she’ll just pretend to tie me to railroad tracks and run me over.  Either way, she is the greatest joy in my life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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