POLITICS, YO

Is it just me or does it feel like this election season has lasted half of your life?  It is relentless and never ending.  Last night was the first debate between Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump and hoooooooboy are we in for it.  What’s a girl to do when you hate both candidates?  Like, can we get a redo?  Pick anybody else?  ANYBODY ELSE OUT THERE WANT TO BE PRESIDENT?????  I’ve made a list I’ve come up with that I’d rather vote for than the two clowns presented to us as the potential future leaders of our country:

  • Mickey Mouse.  He gets shit done at the clubhouse and I bet his mouskatools would come in handy at the White House.
  • Doc McStuffins.  She just seems like she’s got her shit together, you know?  And she always has the right diagnosis for her patients so maybe she could diagnose America’s problem and help us fix it.
  • Billy Eichner.  Billy on the Street makes me laugh so I think, if nothing else, he could just make us laugh for 4 years and forget about the shitstorm of problems we’re in.
  • The Backstreet Boys.  They just announced a residency in Las Vegas that made everyone very excited so I think if they announced their candidacy for President we would all get behind them.  Backstreet’s Back, alright!
  • Harriet the Spy.  I just have a feeling she would be really good in the White House and I would definitely vote for her.
  • A grilled cheese on nice crispy sourdough bread.

 

*Disclaimer:  Don’t come yelling at me with your political bullshit that I see spewing all over social media as of late.  I’m not writing this to say I’m choosing one candidate over the other.  Just because I’ve got a vagina doesn’t mean I want to see Hilary Clinton in office, and just because I don’t want her ass in office doesn’t mean I want lip-eye Trump in there either.  I’m writing this because I would LITERALLY rather see a fucking grilled cheese sandwich in the oval office than the shit we’ve got out there now.  God save us all.*

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