Toothbrush Wars: Part 7,567

I know a lot of parents out there have a hard time getting their little ones to brush their teeth.  I don’t have that problem.  I have a whole other problem.  Charlotte enjoys brushing her teeth – when she sees me doing it or she sees her toothpaste she starts screaming TEETH! TEETH! So at least I’ve got that going for me.  HOWEVER.  Charlotte changes her mind on which toothbrush she would like to use DAILY and has epic meltdowns if I give her one she doesn’t want.  We started out with an Elmo kids toothbrush.  She loved it, then decided she didn’t want it anymore.  So I got her two other kids toothbrushes shaped like crayola crayons, one was green and one was pink.  She used those for about a week.  Then she decided she wasn’t using kids toothbrushes anymore and only wanted adult size toothbrushes.  So, because I am weak and stupid, I gave her a purple adult sized travel toothbrush.  Then one morning we were brushing our teeth together and she didn’t want that anymore, she wanted MY toothbrush.  And now I have to brush my teeth in secret.

As of this morning she doesn’t want to use the purple travel toothbrush anymore so she is using the orange travel toothbrush.  I am going to need to purchase stock in fucking toothbrushes pretty soon.

She also doesn’t want my help brushing her teeth anymore, which is problematic because she doesn’t know what she is doing, and combining that with the fact that an adult size toothbrush barely fits in her friggin’ mouth, she ends up just sucking the toothpaste off and gagging herself, so I don’t really know how much cleaning her teeth are even getting.  She pulls the same shit at my mom’s house.  She’s had like 5 toothbrushes there and honestly I don’t know what is hers or mine at this point and we’re probably sharing all our mouth germs.

Toddlers are fun.

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